Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Secrets are for the Birds

Who came up with this keeping quiet about the most exciting news ever for months??!?!  I am terrible at keeping secrets. Ask my close friends, they've pretty much stopped telling me things they don't want shouted from rooftops. I don't think it's that I like to gossip, it's just that I'm an open book, so I have trouble remembering which of other people's tidbits they're not sharing with the world. 

Anyway, I tell you guys everything. We once had a couple say that our community group wasn't as open and vulnerable as they'd hoped, and I was like "What?! This is all we've got! I guess we're just not that deep. We're as transparent as glass." Well at least I am, Jon's a bit more reserved, thus the compliance with the first trimester secrecy, almost.

So, here's why this secret was so hard to keep: the best part about pregnancy so far is having an excuse for everything. I was already big on napping, but now I'm allowed to be fatigued, even encouraged to rest. It's possible I was actually crankier before pregnancy, but now I get more grace for my moods when I have them. I can't remember, but I think I was heading toward early onset Alzheimer's already, but now it's cute to forget things. My six pack abs had never really existed, but who cares about flat tummies anymore. I usually let my hankerings guide my diet, but now I have the word "cravings" to pin these weird pickle, Popsicle, and Pop-tart binges on. And my digestive system didn't always feel the best before, but Jon is super sweet and affectionate when I'm feeling gross now. But that's just the thing; for months, only Jon was aware of my plight.  Everyone else probably just assumed I was a lazy, grumpy, forgetful, queezy, pickle munching glutton! 

And work... How are you supposed to plan for the coming year with your co-workers if they don't know the life changing event that's coming in that year.  

Co-worker: "Can you commit to a conference in 
Starkville, MS February 20th-22nd
Nashville, TN February 27th-March 1st
Orlando, FL February 28-March 3rd
Tampa, FL March 12-15th?"

In my head: "First of all, some of those dates even overlap I cannot be in two places at once! Second of all, those are my Due Date and the 3 weeks following, so uh no...sorry."

Co-worker: "What size shirt would you like us to order for you?"
Under my breath: "Uh, well, for this year? Are they really stretchy?"

Boss: "Do you want to go to St. Kitts Island again next May for the student conference?" 
Thinking: "Well, yeah, but can I take a 3 month old with me?"
7 weeks pregnant, I played in a tennis tournament.  I almost keeled over if any point lasted more than 3 seconds, everyone surely just thought I was a slug.

I vote, we quit hiding the beauty, and the blah, of the first trimester. It's a tough time. There's no adorable baby bump, just unsightly bloating. There's no kicking for husbands to share in. No frequent doctors visits to see the little one. No parties, or shopping, or painting, or prepping. Let's make it okay to celebrate with friends and family whenever we want to. Begone with the fist trimester stigma, to heck with tradition, let's pamper women in every trimester, whether they need you to hold their hair back, or paint their toenails, After all, a woman in her first trimester is likely as tired as one with a newborn in her arms (well, at least I pray there's not a whole nother level of exhaustion I've yet to experience...)

3 comments:

Heart Sutton said...

AMEN sister!!!!!!!! I could not agree more with ALL OF THIS!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I just wrote a big long comment, and then was told I didn't own my signing identity and lost it....

I couldn't agree with you more. The first trimester is often the time when we need to most grace, the most patience, the most help, and yes, the most rest. I am the worst about keeping pregnancy secrets and twice now it has come back to bite me in the ass, but it has also enabled me to walk through miscarriage with others who didn't know where else to turn. When you get down to it, it seems like the reason it is a secret is because we don't want to make others feel bad, whether it's family members who may be disappointed or just excited friends. It's ridiculous. I also think that if I'm going to go through miscarriage, I don't want to go through it alone so I'm willing to tell. I'll get off my soapbox now. I couldn't be happier for you (and I'm sorry about the poppy seed.) Much love to all of you xox

Anonymous said...

Just as long as you are just as comfortable letting everyone know if you have a miscarriage.... Things happen, painful things. It isn't a first trimester stigma, just a painful reality for many women.