Grampa Steve Visits

Before we got married, I think I'd met Jon's mom twice and his dad once. The two of us had talked a lot about our families in our pre-marital sessions, but much like marriage itself, there's probably not much you can do to prepare for having a new set of parents.  In-laws, what a cool concept!  I love that the expansion of my family didn't stop at Jon when I became a Charles, but instead includes his parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, grandparents, etc.

This week, we had a visit from Jon's dad, Steve, and I got to try-out having a father-in-law firsthand.  As a pilot, he's traveled more than most of us, but it was his first trip to Bolivia so we made sure he got his money's worth.  What would a trip to get to know your new veterinarian daughter-in-law be without a few rabbit castrations and a tour of the chicken coop?  Notice how quick he was to jump in to monitor anesthesia and wrangle up hens, a readiness to try anything that I admire so much in his son.

 One of the highlights for me of Steve's time here was getting to know Jon better; seeing where he gets some of his quirks and many of his virtues.  Their thoroughness balances my own haste.  Their appreciation for wine resembles mine for sugar.  If put head to head I'm not sure who's flexibility would win, nor which of them is lower maintenance; both very desirable qualities in a houseguest.  Steve's generosity was no surprise after being swept off my feet by Jon's for the past three years.  Their affinity for cars and airplanes is only surpassed by their love for family and the Lord.

And Steve's intentional-ness with Angie was just like his son's.  He loved on Angie through words, hugs, splashes, baking, gifts, games and time. Even a bit reluctant to embrace change, especially of the English speaking variety, she couldn't help but bond with him in all his efforts to be her friend.

We look forward to being closer to family again soon and getting to see lots more of them, but for now we're grateful that God allows us to have visitors and Skype and each other while we live and serve far from "home."

Fine, Well, Good

If you ask Jon any open-ended question about how married life's going he will respond with as much enthusiasm and in as many words as our tweenager when asked how her day at school went, "good."  Now, Words of Affirmation is not my primary love language, but you've probably noticed I kinda like words, and a few of them are on the do-not-use list.  Nice, fine, well, and good among others are not descriptive enough to describe celery let alone the rock-your-socks-off changes of being newlyweds.  

So, I mentioned to him how this felt a bit like a direct insult as I'm the one causing married life to be whatever adjective he chooses to explain it with.  And I repeated my concern for his nonchalance about wedded-bliss when he got all dreamy (note the look in his eyes below) in the hardware store and when he ooohed to his Spanish teacher about his recent upgrade to real coffee from Nescafe after his birthday gift.  It seemed that it wasn't just his melancholic personality, but that I was falling behind tools and caffeine.

 A lot of it is our personality differences and some of it is his sensitivity to others and their marriages that might have weathered a few more storms than our 2.5 months of smooth sailing.  But either way, after eventually realizing he wasn't going to start replying, "Oh my goodness, you wouldn't believe how awesome my wife is..." I decided to do a little self-evaluation; turns out the problem was in me.

You see, until now I haven't had a spokesperson.  Even if self-depricating and transparent about the struggles of parenting to an extent, I've always had control of what image I portrayed.  What is Facebook if not a collection of the happiest most successful events of one's life, intentionally neglecting to mention the low-points and de-tagging the unflattering photos?  What is a blog, but a semi-narcistic stream of consciousness that tries to spin even the darkest moments to a silver lining.  I don't think I'm necessarily a control freak, but it would appear that I'm uneasy about giving up control over my reputation. 

So from now on, each time he represents our marital satisfaction with less fervor than I would, I'm going to remind myself that as long as we know the truth, no one else needs to.  We're living life for an audience of One, and He already sees what a great match He's made in us.  However, I probably won't stop posting picture evidence of how much fun Jon's having down here as husband, daddy, cowboy, anesthesiologist, and handyman.

 "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people" 

- Ephesians 6:7